**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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