We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
