You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize