Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
