physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
