I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
