i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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