I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
time to smoke my breakfast
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
