I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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