How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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