just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
