We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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