Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
