Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
