Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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