i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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