He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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