Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
