I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
