I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
