Christians are straight up FREAKS
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
