btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
