I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
