Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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