I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
