if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
