I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
