I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize