how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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