she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize