Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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