I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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