When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
