i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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