What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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