just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
