i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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