so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
