3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
