Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
