help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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