I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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