Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
