I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
