Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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