Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
