I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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