what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
