I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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