It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize