So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
