He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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