He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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