Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Say something about gay babies.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Randomize