i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
