How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
