Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize