I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
