did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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