remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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