I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
