is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
